Do You Really Connect With Your Own Emotions Before You Connect With Others?
- katvolkovich2
- Jul 12
- 3 min read
Updated: Sep 9
Many people want meaningful connections, but often skip the quiet work that makes them possible: understanding their own emotions.
Why Emotional Awareness Matters
Your emotions are signals. They reveal your needs, your fears, what you value, and how others make you feel. If you don’t know what you feel, or how someone makes you feel, you can’t truly connect, even if you think you are. Without emotional awareness, it is hard for us to feel present and aligned in our connections.
Many people struggle to tell the difference between emotions like anxiety, nervousness, and anger. They can feel the same in the body, but they carry different messages. Learning to distinguish these subtle differences helps you respond with clarity instead of confusion.
How to Tell Emotions Apart Practically
Pause and describe the sensation: Is it a tight chest, a heavy stomach, or restless energy? Different emotions often have different physical signatures.
Ask, “What am I afraid of right now?” If fear is present, it may be anxiety. If you feel a push to do something, it may be anger.
Check the trigger: Was it a social situation (then maybe you got nervous), a boundary crossed (it might be anger), or uncertainty about the future (often linked to anxiety)?
Use an emotions wheel: It helps you move from broad terms like “bad” or “angry” to more specific labels, such as “disappointed,” “overwhelmed,” or “irritated.”
Why We Avoid Feeling
Many of us avoid feeling emotions because we fear discomfort or believe we are too busy to pause and reflect on them. Ignoring feelings does not make them disappear; they remain under the surface, shaping how we speak, act, and connect with others.
Simple Practices for Emotional Check-Ins
Name your emotions without judgment. “I feel anxious.” “I feel grateful.” Being specific can help you notice differences between fear, frustration, and excitement.
Body scan for signals. Sit quietly, noticing areas of tension or heaviness. The body often reveals emotions before the mind does.
Journal your raw feelings. Write without filtering to discover hidden patterns and understand what your emotions are trying to tell you.
Why Is This Important for Connection?
Understanding your emotional patterns helps you show up honestly in relationships. You will know when to say, "I need support," vs. "I need space."
It helps you avoid projecting old fears onto new people and allows you to pause before reacting.
Emotional awareness helps you connect without hiding or performing and invites others to do the same.
Reflection for Today
“What emotion have you been avoiding recently, and what might it be trying to tell you?”
Sit with this question and let it guide you inward before reaching outward.
Closing Thought
Not everyone will feel right, no matter how attractive or well-matched they seem to be. Real alignment is something you feel in your body before your mind catches up. It doesn’t mean you’re being too picky. It means you’re paying attention to what actually matters.
At MatchSquare, we are exploring how people form those connections through interactions, questions, and the kinds of experiences that reveal your personality and who you are beyond your job title or life achievements.
In the process, we also help people better understand themselves, such as their values, thinking patterns, emotions, because real connection often begins with self-awareness. If you are curious about this too, we’d love for you to follow along as we build.
The more we understand ourselves, the better we can build real connections.
